insha'allah

sometimes i am thankful for gambian inefficiencies ... because i'm sitting in the airport first class lounge on an expired priority lounge pass. they didn't look at the date (as i hoped, though i was fully prepared to return to the regular lounge if they had, no arguments). but they didn't, so now i've got internet connection and free refreshments. so this will REALLY be my last posting from the gambia. my flight takes off in two hours time.

saying my goodbyes in makumbaya was actually quite emotional this afternoon. i didn't think i was going to cry - i was certain the excitement for getting home would strangle any tears that might well up. but they came anyway.

it's been a long drawn out week of goodbyes. what seemed like the ENTIRE village came out yesterday afternoon for a program at the nursery school to thank me with song, dance, speeches and gifts. at one point, i counted over 120 people, and that was just the women and children as the men went to pray. they had to get a microphone for the speeches there were so many people. it was AWESOME, to say the least. the women's group got up and gave a speech, and then pulled me to the center for some african dancing. embarrassment is not an emotion they have or know in africa - so despite the fact that i looked like a frustrated chicken flapping around - it was great fun. the speeches were given in both mandinka and english, so they went on for about 45 minutes - but all to say they were VERY very grateful for everything i'd done on the project. i was very honored, and i hope that all of you will feel very honored as well when you see the photos and videos of what YOU have helped me to do. really, it feels as though i did very little apart from facilitate this connection. i took lots of pictures and you'll see them when i have the chance to upload them here.

and today was my last day at the school which was effectively an excuse for no school for the kids. friday is only a half day anyway, so it's not a huge loss. the girls had a football (soccer) match for the first half of the morning and then there was a school assembly to thank me and to sing songs and to give me a parting gift. (an african wooden mask). they, too, were very kind with their words and i got lots of requests for my address and phone number from the kids who want to stay in touch. unlikely that they will get their own email addresses for a few years yet, but there are a few who i expect *might* just send me a letter one day. we shall see.

i've hardly slept at all these last few nights. and this morning was no different, up at 5am with the call to prayer. but this time, i didn't mind laying in the dark, listening to the sounds of the gambia waking and watching the sunrise through my mosquito net. it would be the last rooster crowings, donkey brayings, cricket chirpings. tomorrow i'll wake up in brixton to the sounds of london. very different sounds indeed.

so these last few days i've been exhausted, wanting to sleep, but unable lest i miss a moment of what remained of my african experience. my eyes are tired and red and i'd like to say i'll collapse into a deep sleep when i get to my aisle seat, but monarch airlines are not the most comfortable charter, so that is unlikely. and the returning (mostly) english tourists are finishing their last julbrews and are likely to be a fairly motley crew. i'm happy i don't have to sit in the regular lounge to watch them. i'd much prefer to spend my last few hours in the gambia in this quiet room, in a comfortable chair. because my gambian experience was SO much different than their fleeting, sunburned, and packaged experience. i don't really want to share in theirs, and they are very generous with their spirit(s) down in the lounge just now.

the girls and children of the compound actually left yesterday - somewhat unexpectedly, so my time with them was cut short by one day. and a few of the children (the smaller ones, including fatou sarr) left with their uncle without saying goodbye. or rather, i'm not sure they knew they wouldn't see me again. i must say it felt rather like someone wrenched a piece of my heart out. but in hindsight, it may have been for the better, because chances are i might have been pretty emotional! not for me so much, although i AM sad that i won't get to see them again, and likely won't. but emotional and sad because unless things change dramatically in makumbaya for the sarr family, it's likely that the fate of little fatou sarr will be rather predictable. which is to say, not much will happen for her. and that makes me sad.

so yesterday and today were quiet on the compound front with only a few people left. but the night before last was spent with all the women and children making these pancake balls of dough for the program's refreshments. (sandra - eat your heart out, we had at least 3 laundry buckets full of balls!) so it felt like a lovely way to end my time with them as well. and the girls got me a necklace and a bracelet and another piece of fabric as parting gifts. and though it was sad to see them go early, we had a lovely goodbye.

but let me not end on a sad note - because this has been an amazing experience and i have been touched in so many ways - probably many more i'll only discover upon my return. and i have been blessed with friendships and a community of people who have truly taught me the meaning of 'it takes a village...' last night, as we were walking back from the program, one of the village elders (which is to say, someone probably my dad's age, but they are referred to as the elders, sorry dad) said to me that they have a saying in the gambia. it's paraphrased here, clearly much more eloquent in mandinka - but he said 'if you kill a deer and give the meat away, you are likely to forget who you gave the meat to; but if you are the one who is given the meat, you will always remember who gave it to you.' he said that's how it was in makumbaya and that they would always remember fatou sarr. and i hope i am not the person who gives the meat and then forgets. i'm sure it won't happen anytime soon (and there is no way this is possible because i was given four african dresses yesterday, which brings the african dress count up to more than i care to admit for fear of ridicule. let's just say i'm set for fancy dress parties for years to come. 'oh guess what meagan's going to be this year?...' '...is she going to be an african woman AGAIN?')

as i sit here, they are continuing to call passengers on my flight to the baggage area for inspection, i'm crossing my fingers they don't end up calling my name because they've spotted the jar of palm wine oil i've smuggled home and the two mangos fresh from the tree that i've stuffed inside my tennis shoes for breakfast tomorrow morning. i just wanted one last taste of africa. insha'allah .... if god is willing, i will get them home. thank you africa.