preparing for a change!

so here it is, the first entry of my new blog. i’ve been meaning to get this started for ages but just haven’t had a good chunk of time to devote to a proper entry. i’ve wanted to write all about the build up to africa – why i chose the gambia in the first place, my thoughts, my fears, my excitement. but each time i sat down to post an entry, i found myself overwhelmed with nerves and anxiously turned back to my ‘things to do before i leave for africa’ list to cross something off so that i might feel efficient and productive. (if you know me well, you know this makes me happy). it’s not really that i’m nervous about this, although i admit this is the first of my travels in a very long time where i’ve had a guidebook that devoted a section to women traveling on their own and where i’ve been thinking about my own safety more than i would on a trip to, say, paris.

and if i’m not really nervous, it’s only because i don’t think i’ve actually stopped for a moment in the last four months since deciding to do this to actually THINK about what it is i’m doing. sure i’ve packed my bags, bought my mosquito net, been jabbed 7 times in the left arm and skimmed through the lonely planet – but i’ve not really REALLY spent time contemplating the journey on which i am about to embark.

but i think that’s actually a good thing.

i’ve been harping on for years at students about ‘managing expectations’ – and i think not having the time to think much about this is actually helping to keep my own expectations very low. and by low, i do not mean that i expect to have a miserable time. quite the opposite, i am prepared to be floored by the experience. but like the previous volunteer said to me in an email, it’s going to be 50% amazing and 50% pure shit. i’m prepared for both.

so what am i looking forward to?

… the challenge of dealing with an entirely different way of life, eating with my right hand out of a bowl with the family i’ll be staying with, learning songs and dances, a new appreciation for the definition of success, quiet time to read and think, mangos, rice and vegetables (maybe losing 10-15 pounds because that’s all i’ll eat!), talking with the locals, long evenings with no electricity, learning bits of a new language (mandinka), contributing in some way that makes a difference – even if only in that moment and not for all time, finding the courage to let go of what scares me and to try new things – despite feelings of embarrassment or inadequacy.

and what am i dreading?

… accidentally eating with my left hand, bugs bugs and more bugs – especially in the night, gaining 10-15 pounds because ALL i eat is rice, too much time for thinking, being without easy access to technology, electricity or running water, being away from the people i love the most.

but i can handle it. it’s 3 months. and i’ll be back to a new life in milwaukee in no time – so i must be careful not to wish the time away or rush the experience. (as if i could even ‘rush’ time in the gambia, where they are said to operate in GMT, ‘gambian maybe time’). it’s going to be an amazing experience … and hopefully i’ll get into the nearest village with an internet café once a week to take you along for the ride.

a few points to note:

• i am going to try to use this blog to communicate my experience – so please don’t be offended if i’m not able to write individual emails telling you how i’m doing. but that doesn’t mean i don’t want to hear about things from you! (assuming you are not a random stranger who has stumbled upon this blog)
• i don’t think i’ll have a snail mail address – so i would really love to hear from you with updates – but please, for the time being, take me off your forward lists. i’ve unsubscribed from most of my list-serves so as not to be bombarded with advertisements and garbage!
• please feel free to forward this blog to people who know me or who you think might be interested. everyone is welcome to comment – and it’s always nice to know who commented if you don’t mind filling that part out, rather than leaving it as anonymous. (except for the flower lady, i can always recognize her posts!) ☺
• i have absolutely no idea what to expect of the internet capabilities, though have been told there is a ‘fast’ internet café in a nearby village – but a bush taxi takes about 30 minutes to get there and i have to wait until the taxi (bus) is full before it will leave, and sometimes it will be direct, and other times it will stop at every village on the way, and i won’t know which bus i’m on until it starts moving. so … who knows how often i’ll be able to communicate.
• i should, however, have a mobile phone when i get there. all gambians have them. how they power them without electricity in most of the villages, i’ve no idea, but i’ll find out. thankfully jason gave me a solar powered charger, so i should be ok for phone and iPod! (hooray, thanks jason!!)