the final blog / post-africa reflections

i've now been back for nearly three weeks and can safely say i feel i'm home. and as the title of this blog is 'meagan in africa' - this really will be the final post. so thank you again for following along.

as i think i posted as early as day one of my return to the US, i'm amazed at how easy it's been for me to slip back into life in america. and i find myself slightly disappointed at how comfortable i am. or perhaps it's a sense of guilt that i'm just not sure what to do with. i knew i wouldn't return home, shave my head, give away my possessions and pick up a few more peasant skirts at the local goodwill. i knew that wasn't the answer, or my answer anyway. but i suppose it's the decided lack of an answer that is making it difficult.

or perhaps it's the fact that i can flop onto the couch, flip on the wide-screen and catch the last half of the rose ceremony on 'the bachelorette' and not have the inclination to TURN IT OFF. or the fact that i can walk into a walmart the size of brikama and enjoy the convenience. or the fact that driving to officemax to buy some print cartridges excites me to no end (a car! a printer! aisles and aisles of gadgets!)

don't get me wrong, this is NOT an anti-american, anti-consumer, anti-convenience rage. i've been there, done that, written the essay on the evils of the cereal aisle and costco-sized america. but it's figuring out how to reconcile the realities of living in the first world with what i know now about how they live in the third-world. and reconciling this on a micro-level. i.e. my life.

because i don't want to simply forget about what i've done, or about the sarr family, or the village of makumbaya. it's very easy to say that i've come back much more grateful for what i have, and appreciative of the opportunity i am afforded here in the united states. but all that is just talk talk talk talk talk, dinner party fodder, impressive storytelling. and that's all well and good, but is that enough?

i think this experience has shown me that there are a lot of people in this world who WANT to help, who want to be a part of the solution, to affect change, but who just don't know how, or don't have the means. and i say this from both sides - from the outpouring of support - financially and emotionally - i received from the generous donors for the nursery project after just a few weeks. but also from the africans who desperately WANT to dig themselves out of the hole they find themselves in but just don't have the skills or know-how to do so. there is a missing link that is metaphorically keeping people chained to their own side of the fence instead of linking them together for the good of the world.

so i continue to struggle with what i've seen. i can't single-handedly change the plight of africa. i know this. but i CAN make sure that fatou sarr has enough to eat, and that she can make it through high school. i can 'be the difference'* in her life. but in order to do that, i have to remember. i can't forget.

* ('be the difference' - the tagline for marquette university, where i'll be starting my masters program this fall, which i shamelessly and profusely littered throughout my application essay (come on, wouldn't you?), but which i now FULLY understand!)

and i hope that if you are reading this, it has somehow encouraged you to 'be the difference' in your own life - and has shown you, if nothing else, that it is possible to make a difference. thanks for helping me to build this nursery. let me know how i can help with yours.

my uncle kindly reminded me of a very important quote, which i think sums up my feelings about all this very nicely:

'to whom much is given, much is expected.'

indeed.

and with that. adieu.
saala malekum!